Our nation is in the middle of an election. Polls show the people are divided to the point of polarization. Many are feeling bitterness toward those on the side opposite them.
I am a white man living in a mostly racially segregated world. Yet, I consider myself blessed that my life’s journey has caused me to journey with many people of the black race. Some of these have become more than acquaintances; I consider them friends. In part, this led me to write a book about race relations in my time – “Just Throw the Rock.” In preparation for writing the book, I had conversations with many of my black acquaintances and friends.
I heard a story about a respected black man in our community who, during the sixties, went to register to vote. He was told that in order to register, he would have to recite the Bill of Rights. Before putting this story in my book, I wanted to verify the story. The man was deceased, so I talked with his widow. Her answer when I asked if the story was true still haunts me. “Mr. Gary, don’t you go and fret yourself none about this. We’re use to it!” “We’re use to it” is not something any American should be able to say about enduring injustice. Yet, I detected no bitterness in this woman.
In another conversation, I talked with a black woman who came to the previously all-white Burgaw High School the year integration was voluntary -the year before it was mandatory. She and another black student went out for the school’s cheerleading squad. While they made the team, the other white members did not treat them as equals. She confronted one of them about this, and when she did, the white member broke down in sobs as she did not realize the hurt she had unintentionally caused. I asked her if she still felt bitter about the way she and her friend were treated. Her response came fast, “No, it was not their fault --it was just the way they were raised.”
Soon we will know the results of this election. It will be easy for the bitterness of the campaigns to carry over after the votes are counted. You may be on the side that believes those on the other side are socialists, even communists, and that a victory for them will undo the very fabric upon which the nation was founded. You may have been raised in a religious fundamentalist tradition that believes life begins at conception and therefore abortion is murder and those supporting abortion are equal to murderers. On the other hand, you may have been exposed to the notion that uncontrolled capitalism will destroy the values upon which the nation was founded and that some socialist programs are necessary to ensure everyone has an equal chance to climb the ladder of success. You may have been taught life begins not at conception but at birth and a woman has a right to choose whether she is ready for motherhood. These and other issues are important and can cause division and bitterness.
Both of the black women I told you about support black rights and black equality. Both have endured injustice and discrimination. Yet, both live a life free of bitterness and hatred. I detected no animosity toward their white neighbors and fellow citizens.
So, what has all this to do with the election? Simply this – we need to take a lesson from my black friends. We need to seek to understand and forgive those with whom we bitterly disagree. Understanding they may have been “raised that way,” or they are following the teachings of their church, or they are trying to protect what they believe they have earned by their hard work, or they feel the system has betrayed their values, and so forth. Often understanding the another’s viewpoint negates the need for forgiveness. We can work for our side – work for what we believe is right. Yes, when the election is over, remember – we are all on the same cheerleading squad. We are all pulling for the same country.
*WHQR commentaries don’t necessarily reflect the views of WHQR Public Media, its editorial staff, or its members.