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Lightning Fill In The Blank

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

It's time for our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each answer is now worth two points. Chioke, can you give us the scores?

CHIOKE I'ANSON: Helen has two points. Mo and Josh are tied with three.

SAGAL: OK. That means, Helen, you're going to go first.

HELEN HONG: Okey-doke.

SAGAL: The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. In one of his first actions as president, Joe Biden returned the U.S. to the blank agreement.

HONG: Paris accord.

SAGAL: Exactly.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, the outgoing administration announced that lawyer blank would not be part of Trump's impeachment team.

HONG: Giuliani?

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, total U.S. deaths from blank rose above 400,000.

HONG: COVID-19.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, departing Secretary of State Mike Pompeo declared blank's treatment of Uighur Muslims genocide.

HONG: China.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a group of teens offering free squirts of hand sanitizer outside a supermarket in the U.K. fled the scene after it was revealed that the sanitizer was blank.

HONG: Ooh, not hand sanitizer.

SAGAL: Well, technically, yes. But I - you have to know it. It's - super glue is what they were doing - those scamps. On Monday, the son of Martin Luther King Jr. announced his support for blank's run for mayor of New York.

HONG: Andrew Yang?

SAGAL: Yes, very good.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, pharma bro blank lost his second bid for early release.

HONG: It's that horrible guy with the pasty face. I can't remember his name.

SAGAL: That would be him. His name is Martin Shkreli.

HONG: Right.

SAGAL: After spending a few days in lockup...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...A woman in Canada blanked after being released.

HONG: Locked herself back up?

SAGAL: No, she wrote the prison a glowing 4.5-star review.

HONG: (Laughter).

SAGAL: The woman spent several days in jail. And when she was allowed to go free, she really wanted to give the cops a piece of her mind. She just loved it. So in a glowing handwritten note, she said she was, quote, "worried about staying with you guys during my trip, but I appreciate how kind everybody was," 4.5 stars. She would've pushed it up to five, but the only available toilet wine was a chardonnay. She prefers something drier.

HONG: (Laughter) Is there a prison section of Yelp (laughter)?

JOSH GONDELMAN: There is. That's real.

SAGAL: Is it? Is there really? I did not know.

GONDELMAN: Oh, yeah. You - 'cause that's like - it's kind of the only way that people have their voices heard about, like, what it's like in prison. It's a bleak place. I wouldn't go there for fun, prison Yelp.

HONG: (Laughter) I love that you've been there, Josh.

GONDELMAN: (Laughter) I've done some things. I don't want to talk about them. I'm not proud.

HONG: (Laughter).

SAGAL: Chioke, how did Helen do on our quiz?

I'ANSON: Helen got five right for 10 more points. She now has 12 and the lead.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)

SAGAL: All right. I'm going to arbitrarily choose Josh to go next. So fill in the blank, Josh. On Tuesday, Trump granted clemency to 143 people, including former White House strategist blank.

GONDELMAN: Steve Bannon.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, a judge ordered that Alexei Navalny, the critic of blank, allegedly poisoned by the KGB, be detained for 30 days.

GONDELMAN: Vladimir Putin?

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Chuck Schumer officially took over as Senate majority leader from blank.

GONDELMAN: Mitch McConnell.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, it was reported that President Biden would keep Christopher Wray as head of the blank.

GONDELMAN: FBI?

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a professional video gamer announced his retirement after suffering from a debilitating blank.

GONDELMAN: Carpal tunnel syndrome?

SAGAL: Close enough. An injury to his thumb.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, health officials said it was safe to use Moderna's blank despite allergic reactions.

GONDELMAN: Vaccine?

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Thanks to strong earnings from Apple and Netflix, the blank reached record highs on Wednesday.

GONDELMAN: Dow Jones. Stock market?

SAGAL: Yeah, stock market.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...A man in Oregon reprimanded a woman after he realized she had left her child in her car while he was blanking.

GONDELMAN: While he was pumping gas?

SAGAL: No, while he was stealing the car. I mean, parents these days. They buy their kids iPads. They coddle them. They leave them in the cars that I want to steal. A man's otherwise wholesome "Grand Theft Auto" spree took a dark turn when he realized there was a 4-year-old in the car he just stole. And so he turned around, drove back, dropped the kid off, berated the mom for being so careless. How could you leave your kid in your car unaccompanied? And then he took the car again and drove away. He eventually slowed down to admonish the cops chasing him for speeding.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Chioke, how did Josh do on our quiz?

I'ANSON: Josh has seven right for 14 more points. He now has 17 points and the lead.

HONG: Whoa.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)

SAGAL: Whoa, that was actually pretty impressive, Josh.

HONG: Josh, you're a beast.

GONDELMAN: Thank you.

SAGAL: So, Chioke, how many, then, does Mo need to win?

I'ANSON: Mo needs seven points to tie and eight points to win.

SAGAL: All right. Here we go, Mo. This is for the game. On Wednesday, Director of National Intelligence Avril Haines became the first member of blank's cabinet to be confirmed.

MO ROCCA: Biden's.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: During his first press conference under President Biden, blank said he felt liberated.

ROCCA: Fauci, Dr. Fauci.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the leader of the Proud Boys was charged with encouraging people to join the mob that stormed blank.

ROCCA: The Capitol.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Despite the pandemic, officials in blank announced that country's economy grew by 2.3%.

ROCCA: China.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a legislator in Oklahoma filed a bill to establish an official blank hunting season.

ROCCA: Chicks and ducks and geese?

SAGAL: (Laughter) Better scurry. No, it's Bigfoot hunting season, which is weird 'cause, clearly, Bigfoot does not live in Oklahoma. On Sunday, warehouse workers at online giant blank announced a planned vote to unionize.

ROCCA: Amazon.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, blank claims dropped slightly but remained above 900,000.

ROCCA: Unemployment.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, over 750,000 pounds...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Of blank were recalled after it was discovered they could cause serious injury.

ROCCA: Oh, barbells.

SAGAL: No, Hot Pockets. Nestle has ordered a mass recall of Hot Pockets after reports that the product may contain small pieces of glass or hard plastic.

HONG: What?

SAGAL: You can tell if your Hot Pockets are affected by looking for Lot No. 6693 or seeing if you've purchased the limited edition nacho glass-blasted flavor.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Chioke, did Mo do well enough to win?

I'ANSON: Mo had six right for 12 more points. He has a total of 15, which means that with 17 points, Josh is this week's champion.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)

SAGAL: Whoa, that is extremely impressive.

GONDELMAN: Thank you. And, honestly, an honor just to play with such fine competitors.

SAGAL: It's - that's very gracious, Josh, very gracious.

ROCCA: Oh, my - you're really making me moisten right now.

HONG: Ew.

GONDELMAN: (Laughter).

SAGAL: Oh, God (laughter).

ROCCA: No, my eyes, my eyes.

HONG: Stop.

GONDELMAN: You got moist eyes? Yeah.

ROCCA: My eyes.

HONG: Stop it. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.