On Easter Sunday the president of the United States made a threat on social media against the country of Iran. In the short threat he used the ‘F-word. While the use of coarse language by the president is not unusual, it seems it was more inappropriate on Easter Sunday. I ,for one, thought it demeaning to the office of President of the United States.
Now for those of you who know me you must be thinking: Gary uses that same word often, way too often. And you are right. I use profanity in my private conversations way, way more than I should.
It seems it has been only in the last few years that coarse language has become acceptable in public life. A TV commentator I listen to regularly uses what might be called “soft profanity”. We hear and read these soft profanity words so often that I would argue they are now just part of the regular vocabulary of those who speak in public and write for public consumption. Criticize that speech and people look at you like you must be a Sunday School teacher nerd.
I never heard my daddy use profanity. Once when a teenager I used several cuss words in front of my daddy and he simply said: “You shouldn’t use cuss words until you learn how and when to use them.” Woo – that hurt. It was the last cuss words my daddy ever heard me say.
I am not saying profanity in private conversation is okay, but I am of the opinion that profanity in public is particularly not okay. So, why are we hearing it more often? I think there are a number of reasons. One of my high school English teachers said the use of profanity by a person was a sign they did not have a good vocabulary. I think that true. We use profanity because we do not know a better word to emphasize what we are saying.
I think some men use it as they think it makes them look manly. Some women want to show they can talk as tough as a man. This has not always been the case. For instance think of Ernest Hemmingway. No one doubts he was a man’s man. Yet, in his writings he did not use profanity. Take his novel “For Whom the Bell Tolls.” The protagonist Robert Jordon, does not resort to profanity. We know he was sleeping with Maria, who Jordan often called “little rabbit”, but Hemmingway conveys this without having to describe their romance in explicit sexual language.
I think another reason we hear and read coarse language is for its shock value. They want the listeners or readers to say, “Can you believe he/she used that word.” They think it elevates them to those who will say whatever is on their mind.
One of the reasons I am disturbed by the increased use of coarse language in public is that it is one more example that society is moving away from standards. I think we need standards and one of those is the standard of no coarse language in pubic.
In the beginning of this commentary, I used the president’s use of coarse language as an example. Yet the use of coarse language is not a partisan thing. A New Yorks Times report showed Democrat office holders use coarse language more than Republicans. All of these public officials have an obligation to set an example. How can a teacher punish a student for using the F-word when the president and congress people use it?
I make New Year’s resolutions. For the last three years one under the heading self-improvement has been to clean up my language.I am challenging those of you, who like me, use coarse language to resolve to stop.
Gary Trawick is a retired Superior Court Judge, writer and teller of stories. He and his wife, Jennings, live in Burgaw.
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