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Lightning Fill In The Blank

MAZ JOBRANI, HOST:

Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: I can. Faith has two. Eugene has two and leaving it to Jessi with three.

JOBRANI: Ooh.

KURTIS: How about that, Jessi?

JOBRANI: Let's go Eugene. You're the newest member of the WAIT WAIT family. So let's go with you first.

EUGENE CORDERO: Yes.

JOBRANI: On Tuesday, Attorney General Barr said the DOJ found no evidence of fraud that would change the outcome of blank.

CORDERO: The election.

JOBRANI: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

JOBRANI: Negotiations between the White House and Congress restarted this week on a blank plan.

CORDERO: On a stimulus plan.

JOBRANI: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

JOBRANI: On Monday, Merriam Webster picked pandemic as their blank.

CORDERO: Word of the day?

JOBRANI: Word of the year. We'll say close enough.

CORDERO: Of the year?

JOBRANI: Well, we'll say right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

JOBRANI: After 50 years of breathing problems...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

JOBRANI: ...A man in Russia finally went to the doctor and discovered the problem was blank.

CORDERO: Asthma?

JOBRANI: A coin he'd shoved up his nose when he was 6.

CORDERO: (Laughter) Oh, boy.

JOBRANI: Yes. In Russia, coin goes up your nose. In America, nose goes in your - no, OK. The man was so...

(LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: The man was so scared that his mom would be angry that he never told anyone about the coin and, eventually, forgot about it completely. But 50 years later, an X-ray revealed that it was still lodged in his nasal cavity.

CORDERO: Ew.

JOBRANI: After a multi-hour invasive operation, the man is thankful he can breathe again and surprised that everything in the world doesn't smell like rusty, old metal. Bill...

FAITH SALIE: And thank God his wife loved him enough to marry him even though one nostril was four times bigger than the other.

(LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: Well, maybe she married him for his money.

KURTIS: Oh.

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: Ah, yes.

JOBRANI: Bill, how did Eugene do?

KURTIS: Eugene had four right for eight more points. He now has 10. And that gives him the lead.

(APPLAUSE)

JOBRANI: Ooh. Eugene, you are in the lead.

CORDERO: I'll take it.

JOBRANI: OK. Faith, you're up next. Fill in the blank. In a video posted online Wednesday, blank hinted at a presidential run in 2024.

SALIE: Donald Trump.

JOBRANI: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

JOBRANI: On Monday, Wisconsin and Arizona certified blanks election win in their states.

SALIE: Joe Biden.

JOBRANI: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

JOBRANI: This week, the CDC shortened their recommended blank time for people potentially exposed to COVID.

SALIE: Quarantine.

JOBRANI: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

JOBRANI: On Wednesday, three pro-democracy activists in blank were sentenced to almost a year in prison.

SALIE: Hong Kong, China.

JOBRANI: Right. Hong Kong.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

JOBRANI: As Los Angeles was overrun with cases, the city temporarily closed a coronavirus testing center in order to blank.

SALIE: Oh, in order to have a film shoot.

JOBRANI: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

JOBRANI: They closed down the testing center to shoot a remake of the 1999 Freddie Prinze Jr. film "She's All That." This week...

SALIE: Oh.

JESSI KLEIN: Worth it. Worth it.

JOBRANI: Yeah.

SALIE: (Laughter).

JOBRANI: This week, comedian John Mulaney revealed he was investigated by the Secret Service for a joke he made while hosting blank.

SALIE: "SNL."

JOBRANI: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

JOBRANI: This week, Warner Brothers announced they would release all of their 2021 movies in theaters and on blank simultaneously.

SALIE: HBO Max.

JOBRANI: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

JOBRANI: This week, a hunter in the Czech Republic...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

JOBRANI: ...Called police to report a blank stole his hunting rifle.

SALIE: Oh, a deer?

JOBRANI: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

JOBRANI: You are killing it.

CORDERO: Wow.

JOBRANI: The man was tracking the deer when his dog startled it, causing it to rush at him, tearing his sleeve and catching the strap of his rifle on its antlers. He called police immediately, who dispatched someone to the scene hoping to find the gun before the deer gets too far or grows thumbs and decides to seek revenge.

(LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: Bill, how did Faith do?

KURTIS: Well, Faith was killing it. She had eight right for 16 more points. She now has 18 and the lead.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)

CORDERO: Whoa.

JOBRANI: Woo, you're on fire.

SALIE: Those were some lucky guesses.

JOBRANI: Bill, how many does Jessi need to win?

KURTIS: She needs eight to win.

JOBRANI: All right. Jessi, you're ready for this?

KLEIN: Not - no, but let's go.

CORDERO: (Laughter).

JOBRANI: You got this. OK, Jessi. This is the game. Fill in the blank. On Monday, Dr. Birx said that Americans who traveled for blank should assume they're infected and get tested.

KLEIN: Thanksgiving.

JOBRANI: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

JOBRANI: On Wednesday, blank made moves to ban inspectors at nuclear facilities.

KLEIN: Iran.

JOBRANI: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

JOBRANI: This week, a federal panel recommended giving medical workers the first doses of blank.

KLEIN: Vaccine.

JOBRANI: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

JOBRANI: On Wednesday, former astronaut Mark Kelly was sworn in as senator from blank.

KLEIN: Arizona.

JOBRANI: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

JOBRANI: This week, a woman in Australia says that her Sarah Jessica Parker perfume is the reason she was blanked while out for a morning run.

KLEIN: Attacked. By a lion? A kangaroo.

JOBRANI: Yes, yes, yes. You're right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

JOBRANI: She says that her Sarah Jessica Parker perfume led to an attack by an amorous kangaroo. On Monday, cryptocurrency blank hit a record high.

KLEIN: Bitcoin?

JOBRANI: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

JOBRANI: A new report on Thursday showed another 700,000 people applying for blank benefits.

KLEIN: Unemployment.

JOBRANI: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

JOBRANI: Over the holidays, the mayor of Austin urged residents...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

JOBRANI: ...To stay safe and stay home in a video recorded at blank.

KLEIN: On vacation in Mexico?

JOBRANI: You are right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

KURTIS: (Laughter).

JOBRANI: Holy moly. Yes, at a private beach resort in Cabo. In the video...

KLEIN: So tiring.

JOBRANI: ...The mayor says, quote - this is what he says. Quote, "Our numbers are increasing. We need to stay home if you can. This is not the time to relax" - all while relaxing at a Mexican resort. Yes.

KLEIN: Meanwhile, a hand just hands him a margarita in the...

(LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: Exactly.

KLEIN: Out of the corner of a Zoom window.

JOBRANI: Bill, how did Jessi do? Did she do well enough to win?

KURTIS: She did great. She had eight right for 16 more points. She now has 19, which means that Jessi is this week's champion.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)

KLEIN: Yes. Oh, my God, guys, I needed this.

(LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: Have we ever had two people get perfect? They both got perfect.

CORDERO: Wow. Way to go.

SALIE: I feel proud, Jessi.

KLEIN: Can you hear the glass ceiling shattering?

(LAUGHTER) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.